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agent_amarao24

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[05/01/2006 @ 9:46pm]
Whats the point of people changing who they are for people. I do not understand it. The only way you can find real friends is by acting like yourself, even if you are a complete asshole. someone is bound to like you and be friends with you. i have no clue how i have kept so many friends for all these years. im annoying, loud, and i make fun of everyone too much. and yet people still like me. not that i dont want them to. but i hate making people feel like they have to like me or something. and i always feel like i am. and when i write things like this, im affraid people will think im just asking for complements, but im not. i just like to know if im making anyone feel bad or awkward or anything like that. I like to think i dont care what people think. and when it comes to like the way i look or something. generally i dont care unless its embarasing. but i do care about what people think of me as a person. like, when i dont know what people are talking about, but everyone else does, i just keep my mouth shut and act like i know because i think people will think im stupid or something. which is another problem i always feel stupid. im ALWAYS the stupider one. everyone else has honors classes and gets good grades and everything. then theres me. i am in NO honors classes and i get bad grades in regular level classes. i just feel like such an idiot sometimes. because i know im not stupid. im just lazy. and im not like bobby, i dont make plans to change anything in the way i am to fix things. because i like who i am, i just dont like the consequences of being myself. its kindof hard to explain. i cant even write about this anymore. i know this entry makes no sense. if you want to say something HONEST about me. please be my guest. but just know that i probably wont believe your sincere unless its something BAD. i dont know why. but i feel like people are VERY fake with other people when leaving complements.
(10 ) CMNT

[03/20/2006 @ 8:04pm]
Today was the most depressing day i have ever experienced at school...
Homeroom was just really quiet.
First period was the saddest, after sitting in mr. blanchards room for 15 mins till mr.blanchard started his speech on how this is affecting him and how he wasnt going to make anyone do anything. then he just started bawling his eyes out. I felt so sorry for him, he was obviously very close to Amanda.
Then second period went on as usual, and it seemed to be alright because it took my mind of the tragedy.
Third period was probably second worst. Mr. K let us go to the wall where people were writing stuff for Amanda and Scott and there were so many people crying and writing things that were really emotional. and some of the things were inappropriate for school, and i guess someone tried to put paper over it but people took it down. It wasnt for the school, it was for Amanda and Scott. It was the saddest thing id ever seen. I couldnt last more than 5 mins watching people cry and write emotional things. So i just went back to Mr.K's room and read harry potter like i had been all day. I guess thats just the way i deal with death, i ignore it.
4th period was probably the best. Me Kelly Jen and Ty worked on graphics and joked with eachother like normal. it was a break from reality, which i feel privlidged to have because i know that her friends never got that chance today.
5th period was depressing at first because Amanda's guidance counselour came in and talked about Amanda and people shared stories about her. Then people whet into their own groups crying and talking about her. Luckily me Nicole Dave Jason and Time just takled about random stuff to get our minds off of it.
Then there was lunch. For some reason they felt compelled to play very sad songs about remebering people. I felt bad because Amanda's usual table were all crying, i felt so helpless. I felt bad for heather too because she knew Amanda very well from Hockey and it was obviously very hard for her too.
Then i had 6th period photography, it wasnt too bad, we didnt do too much. Mr. Harneys classes seemed to be better than most others because he didnt talk about it and i think that was the best choice to make.
7th period was as depressing as 5th. Amanda used to come into our english class and talk to bonnie before class started and she would sit on Monty's desk, that will never happen again. I just read harry potter some more and sortof half participated in the conversation that was going on about Amanda and Scott and peoples memories. I was so happy when the day ended so i could just go home. but i found myself thinking about the whole situation for a good 3 hours after school. I feel so bad for everyone.
I never had a conversation with Amanda and the last time i saw Scott was in middle school. But I remeber Amanda as a goofy girl who was just having a good time with life. She was always so upbeat and she really did brighten up everyone's day. Although, because I never knew her as well as many kids in our school did, i felt it would be weird if i signed the wall or put "RIP Scott and Amanda" in my profile or awaymessage.
Although, i almost broke down just seeing everyone so sad to see this energetic girl go at such a young age. When i heard about it, it didnt really register at first. And it didnt all weekend till i got to school today. Before things like this happen you dont realize how vulnerable you are. and I couldnt imagine anything this horrible happening to anyone. For everyone who was close to her, I am so sorry for your loss. If anyone ever needs to talk or anything im here to listen.

Rest In Peace Scott and Amanda, you left us too early.

Stay strong Andrew, I know you will pull though.

I had to write this. I couldnt just avoid expressing any feeling about this tragedy any longer. and it still hasnt completely regestered.
(3 ) CMNT

Boring [02/06/2006 @ 7:39pm]
Life has become boring.
There are like only rare moments now where i feel satisfied.
Its just like, i can play video games all day but even those are becoming boring. its like iv played it all, theres never anything new.
like its fun to be spontanious, like after the talent show, going to collumbos and then just fooling around in various parking lots was fun. i just need something thrilling.
just watching movies is boring. i mean i love movies dont get me wrong, but just sitting around is REALLY boring. especially because the majority of us can drive now. so WE SHOULD! if your parents wont let you just drive around, tell them you are at someones house. its fun to just go places and fool around.
sitting at peoples housese just dosent cut it anymore, we have licenses and its supposed to grant more freedom than you had before but everyone is acting like it has not changed anything. so for the sake of fun and escaping bordom, PLEASE! no more movies for a while. no more plans either while were at it, lets just go somewhere and then figure out what were gunna do from there. because i cant take this little kid bull shit anymore. i mean we have been having movie nights since the summer of 8th grade. were junior in highschool now. its time to abuse our privledges and do something different for a change.

ok this is a long entry. but READ IT!!!
(5 ) CMNT

kill me now... [01/23/2006 @ 8:34pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

OK.
so we are having some major problems at the swyter household...
my dad is constanly pissed off about something... lately it has been his computer which i keep trying to fix and he keeps yelling at me as if i were the one who caused the problems.. which im not by the way.
My mid-term grades have not been high... and i have been getting all b's and c's this year, with the acception of one or two A's. My mother seems to think that i can not get into college with these grades and im affraid that i really wont get into college. I have some serious problems... i am seriously addicted to video games. im not even kidding and its really not funny. i come home and i play video games instead of doing school work like i should, i dont go out places with my parents or go like down town or anything because im playing video games. it may seem like a stupid addiction but it is an addicition. Everytime i try not to play video games and do something else, i get bored.
My stupid brother keeps on telling my parents EVERYTHING wong at the wrong time. like telling my dad that there was a problem with the graphix card while he was trying to fix other computer problems. pain in the ass. and then my dad yells at me somemore because im supposed to know everything about computers, which i admit, i DONT. i know more than he does but thats just because i try. he just avoids it and im trying to get him to learn how to do it him self so when im out of this hell hole my family dosent become amish!
My mom found out today that she has a "manditory organizational meeting" at work tomorrow which she claims is a bad omen, and that she thinks it might mean that her buisness (or atleast her sections of the buisnesss) is closing down and that she wont have a job.
This makes me think... i had better get a job and start getting better grades and do really well on my SATs because even if i do get into college with my grades my parents wont be able to pay for it unless i get a scholoarship, which i probably wont because im too much of an idiot to actually do school work and study for tests... i really wish i knew how to study. when i sit down to study i just dont know what to do or where to begin. i cant even really comprehend it. i reallly need some help getting my act together or ill be fucked fo life.
if you can help me or have any comments for me that might just motivate me to work harder, please im begging you to leave them.

(PS - i think my dad is depressed but how can anyone know unless he goes to a therapist, which he wont because he is too damn stubborn and mid-western)(mid-westerners think that if you go to a therapist you are a Psycho)

PLEASE HELP ME!

(9 ) CMNT

[12/13/2005 @ 8:15pm]
[ mood | owie. ]

Look at this Website Layout i did on photoshop. I might just use it or give it to someone else to use. i dont know. well here it is anyways

i hope that worked.
Today i almost got to school late again. i find my self getting more and more pissed at people who go slow. someday im just going to punch someone in the face for going so slow. its really bothering me. so anyways i got to school and i was in homeroom talking to sarah as usual when i glanced up to see mr. ryan talking to someone at the door. when this someone walked away it looked like ben. but i couldtn really tell. but i could have sworn i saw a mohawk. and i found out later at lunch that i was right on both parts and i wasnt crazy! IT was Ben and he DID have a Mohawk!it was crazy but i think it looked pretty good on ben, more so than it does on some / most people. lol. I admire ben's courage in doing something new with no warning. i could never do that. well, nor would i get a mohawk in the first place but im sure you catch my drift. so sarah has been tutoring me in french and it has really been helping me... ALOT! the day after sarah tutored me i had a test and i got an 80 then on my next test i got an 85.5 and then on the next EXAM i got an 80.5! so im totally gunna get a B in french this quarter witch will greatly help my quarter grade. I had a math test today wich wasnt too hard... unless i was doing everything wrong. im pretty sure i got atleast one wrong. because i completely forgot how to do it. oh well. i was excited to hear ben ask me if tech tryouts were next week because that means he's doing the play. YAY drama with atleast one person thats not annoying. no offense to those of you who are also in drama its not you its other people. well its you when you yell at me (not copmletely directed to Delia) lol anyways. it dosent matter. we have a half day tomorrow and i cant wait. I keep forgetting i have a car so i keep thinking of how im going to get everywhere. its so weird. i feel like i have been growing up faster than my brother did. i know most people must feel this way but i just feel like it took a longer time for him to get his license and stuff than i did for me. Then again he always was more mature than me so that could be it. My wrist hurts and recently the pain has spread to my whole arm. and it only hurts if i move it up or down or i move my fingers a certain way. its really annoying me and i think i might have carple tunnel syndrome, wihch is not good because i wanna become a graphic artist and i need my hands for that! =X

(5 ) CMNT

Crappy Survey [11/29/2005 @ 10:11pm]
Name:Taylor
Age:16
Sex:Male
--Food--
Favorite:Chocolate
Least Favorite:Pizza
Most often had:Pasta
Fruits or Veggies:Fruits
Herbavore or Omnivore or Carnivore:Omnivore
--Color--
Favorite:Blue
Least Favorite:Yellow
--Clothes--
Shirt:any old shirt will do
Pants:meh dont care.
Shoes:My same old ones i always ware
Socks:hanes
Underware:Boxers
--after school--
Go home:Yep
Do Homework:Nope
Go to a sport: NEVER!
Go to a club:sometimes Drama
--Misc.--
Drink:no
Smoke Weed:nah
Smoke Cigarettes:...um no
Have Sex:no
--about this survey--
Good or bad:bad

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
(2 ) CMNT

[11/28/2005 @ 10:21pm]
Today was like every other day. boring. i actually did my homework. i have an exciting life. thats why i updated my LJ. lol. I won the "The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys" DVD off ebay for only 6.00. it is 19.00 in newbury comics. jen martin seemed to get mad at me today online because i said i had things i had to do tomorrow so i might not make it to the class rep/officer meeting tomorrow. she didnt tell me about it till tonight and i had things in my schedual for a while. well WHATEVER! i dont care. let them be mad. dosent affect me really i guess. so tomorrow sarah is going to tutor me in french. im excited about that. i never really study for french! and now i will and hopefully get a good grade this quarter. it was my worst class last quarter. i need to get my grades up so i can go to college. im considering Mass Art(MAYBE) and Salem State i guess.... the only thing i remeber from going to the tour with harrison was the dorms were nice and big. but the dorms in Mass Art were AWESOME! well atleast the handicapped one we saw. it had like a kitchen and personal bathroom and everything. well if i apply to mass art ill go with nate because he is applying there too! how weird. well i guess id better get to bed now. guten nacht.....
(1 ) CMNT

[11/22/2005 @ 10:27pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Wow i havent updated in forever.
I feel so free... i have nothing to do after school anymore now that drama is over.
You know what really grind my gears?
when mrs.fritz says "at any rate" after every sentance
and that weird thing she does with her toungue.
its really creepy.
So french sux anyways because i am bad at it and it was probably my worst grade.
im happy though because my parents arnt mad at me
they allready knew what my grades were and we had been discussing it for a while
school isnt too bad for me. i mean sure, the grades are not really there. but it dosent really matter.
i do poorly on tests because teachers grade weird. things equal more than one point and it dosent really show what i know and dont know. which is the point of tests afterall. teachers are just rediculous.
I think a lot of people who think im weird because i like video games dont really understand WHY i play video games. which to them might be weird anyways but its because when i see things like wizards, jedi, and superheros / villains on TV or something, i almost go crazy thinking about how things can never be that way. its hard to explain. i just love taht kind of stuff so much. call me a geek but thats what i am and thats what i like.
I think some day ill become a technological superhero, just for the fun of it. Jetpack and all. ha ha. im so cool =P
i only wish.... thats why iv always been interested in ghosts, aliens, and the 'kenetic's. Those are all things that have some sort of proof of existance. some people believe it, some people dont. thats your choice but i believe it because it gives me some sort of relife to know that its possible that there are unknown things out there still and it gives me hope that i can make some thing of my life by discovering something new. well thats enough for tongiht. i must sleep so i can prepare to do nothing

CMNT

[11/03/2005 @ 10:04pm]
Well today was pretty good. Watched a movie and listened to Dane Cook first period which was awesome. Blanch is so awesome because he realizes that hearing swears dosent affect us in any way at all. lol. anyways. so the rest of the day was kindof meh. but i got my chem com project done today, which was good. then i had drama. we had a company meeting. it was pretty boring and told us nothing. but i DID get to sit on the stage because im class rep. after we had like 2 hours of free time and marisa had no where to go so she came to my house and we made/ate carbonara. if you hadnt realized by the title of this dish, it is loaded with CARBS(CARBonara) =P. lol it dosent matter, it tasted good. so then Mrs. Garcia drove us to the school and gave us delicious dessert! so then we went back to drama and i took notes on the play, for lights, sortof. i was half talking to andrea, who was also supposed to be doing lights and ryan mckee. and occasionally boz. i read these notes thingys on ryan's ipod which were supposed to be poems but really they sounded like really good stories.they WERE all about girls and shit but theys till were written well anyways. except for this one about some girl who died. it was a really good poem. OH! today at drama, like a crapload of freshman were being more geeky than I! There was a laptop which atleast like 15 of them were huddled around just because it was a laptop... IM NOT EVEN LIKE THAT! and i like computers ALOT! anyways, for some reason it was really nice. delia was being really mad at me and andrea, but she had ever right to because i asked andrea to take notes for me while i read ryan's ipod but she just takled instead. so we have like 2 whole scenes with no notes at all. but then i got them all down later. and kelly was like falling asleep on ben so i walked over to her and grabed her shoulders and she was like hyperventilating! it was SO FUNNY! anyways, i better go to bed or i will be pooped tomorrow.
(1 ) CMNT

[10/30/2005 @ 6:43pm]
[ mood | I DONT KNOW! ]
[ music | Tryo - Je Veux Fumer ]

Today the frenchies left us and went back to france, despite the fact that most of them did not want to. yeah it was sad, but most of us know we will see the students that stayed with us again in 5 months or so. so i wasnt sad, my house is just super empty now. So last night i had people over for dinner(bobby, ariana, Jackie, Simon and my self) and it was pretty good. i wasnt all that hungry considering how many cookies i ate! so it was good untill bobby had to bring start a conversation about peoples sex lives. then it was just stupid and it sortof ruined it for me. it just makes me uncomfterable and id rather not talk about it. and it sortof ruined my chances of being whoever i wanted to be when i went to france. how am i supposed to change when everyone knows how i am now and thinks thats how im supposed to be? well none the less i still cant wait for april. to take a quote from the tryo song "Je veux fumer." if you dont know what that means, sux for you figure it out. good song though. you should all d/l some Tryo... its a french band that Simon and Pauline introduced to bobby and me. Me Thinks id better start learning to like wine and beer, i mean if im going to france i would have to do as the french do. =P. anyways. Tomorrow is Halloween and i have no CLUE what i will be doing. im not dressing up or going trick or treating because my friends dont want to. but your never too old for free candy! well i have some at my house anyhow i guess. I just want to do SOMETHING!
I hate being the center of attention. or atleast having people pay any attention to me. i mean i DO like attention. but it really just depends on the type of attention it is. i dont like people watching me expecting me to make a fool out of my self that they can later use against me to bash my self-esteem. but i mean like, sympahtetic attention. and im not talking about cutting for attention, because 1. i dont do that, and 2. you dont get sympathetic attention you get the "stop fucking trying to get attention" attention. if you know what i mean. I like it, but i hate it too. oh who am i kidding, i have no clue what it is that i like. i only know what i dont like. and it really annoys my parents. i keep telling them thing i dont like instead of things i do like. i try to be optimistic, really i do. but it just dosent work most of the time. I hate being so awkward all the time! GRR!

well tahts enough of a rant for today.

(4 ) CMNT

[10/13/2005 @ 6:06pm]

Agent_Amarao24 took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.


(1 ) CMNT

[10/12/2005 @ 4:40pm]
like my icon says "Damn! I thought you was a lezbian!"

anyways, so yes i did get my license yesterday! w00t w00t! go me!
and i actually sold and ad for drama to a BUISNESS!
oh my goodness! my parents have always just bought mine! another thing to say w00t w00t to!
now bobby has to get his!
"I seen the network, Big, Powerful." oh i love the old man in that commercial. its tres manufique!
so progress reports come out soon. lets take bets, will i get 5, 4, 3, 2 ,1 , or NONE?!?!? take your bet. im betting on 3...

bah, im sick of updating this right now so ill do it later!

















































































woah, it looks real long but in reality, its not!
(8 ) CMNT

[10/11/2005 @ 9:36pm]
ok seeing as i have somehow created a HUGE scratch on my glasses, what kind of new glasses shall i get?
any suggestions.
i can get thin rims or thick rims or something in between. and no Huge lensed glasses or granny glasses.
Merci!
(8 ) CMNT

[10/09/2005 @ 12:08am]
[ mood | I dunno... ]
[ music | Saves the Day - Certain Tragedy ]

Tonight was fun. we beat up bobby, he beat up us. then we (me, marisa, mary, and bobby) sat in the dark and just talked and it was really peaceful. Sometimes i just want to go out and do something that would normally scare the crap out of me and see how long i last. I dont know why it just seems fun sometimes.
I want new glasses, im getting kindof sick of these ones. i need new lenses anyways, these are so scratched and stuff.... any suggestions of what my next type should be? i have no idea, i just dont like these ones. I wish i could wear contacts but i cant stick things in my eye. i think i look better without my glasses, but then again, i see better with my glasses on, even though they are only for reading. i dont like not seeing my best. well anyhow.
im working for my dad tomorrow, 10 dollars an hour for about 5-6 hours. i know its going to suck because my dad will yell at me a tun. im not looking forward to it really, but atleast ill be making money
money i can spend on me instead of this computer or this desk. my dad still hasnt taken the money out of my account yet so if he dosent in a few months im going to keep it for myself and actually go out and buy myself some new clothes or something. because i really need them. all of my clothes suck. i have like 4 good shirts and only 4 pairs of pants. and i only really like 2 pairs of them.

there is this high pitched beep that goes off in my house like every hour. im hoping it just means the fire alarm is low on batteries. we only have 1 fire alarm in my whole house, and its on my stairs. like a fire would ever start there. speaking of fire. i lit a match in my basement and my dad came downstairs like an hour afterwards and he was like whats that smell? it smells like something is burning.

it was ammusing. Dont you hate it when you make really big plans but then everytime you try to do whatever your plans are they fall through for one reason or another. i really hate it. not that its happened too recently, except for the whole king richards fair thing.
but i mean something you plan at the beginning of the summer then everytime you bring it up, people have either lost interest or they just cant do it. "that really grinds my gears" - Pete Griffin

i just had to add that.

my mom said when i get my license i have to ask to use the car everytime i go out because thats what harrison did, but harrison only did it because it wasnt his car. but its MY car and i go out whenever i please. i AM paying for gas afterall. i cant wait for tuesday. it will be so much fun. ok here is my schedual till school.

- Work for dad

- party hardy till like 1 in the morning on monday

- go to school all day

- rode test

- drive around just for kicks

sounds fun huh? like no sleep!
yay!

anyways. iv already driven alone before but my parents were near by and i couldnt go far because i always end up having a destination. when i get my license i just wanna drive around for a while. no particular destination. just to drive. and no worries, ill drive other people. im confident of my capabilities as a driver. and other people have driven with me before.

i am so happy that drivers ed is over. mr. dent like hated me because i missed one driving hour completely, then i slept through the first 5 mins. oh well. its over now.

i think harrison is sleeping downstairs tonight so i think ill burn some CDS to play in my boom box tonight... because i feel like listening to music.

I still cant find my Celly! oh i miss it so. its been missing sense thursday and as of 2 mins ago its sunday! although it only feels like 9.

tonight i feel like just sitting and thinking in bed about whatever comes to me. sometimes i do that in class or soemthign, or when someone is talking to me and i just completely space out then i cant even remeber seeing what was going on. iv been doing that alot recently. its really weird. im just so like out of it sometimes.

I need to sell some stuff on ebay so i can buy some other stuff... i think im gunna get some more tee shirts. i need them. i hate almost all of the ones i own. they are all so big on me, i dont like it.

Dont you wish there was someone who you could just tell everything and they wouldnt care at all what you tell them or even be phased by it. i mean it wouldnt be natural if anyone was like that but, what if....

now i feel like filling out surveys... i think i will. =D

(4 ) CMNT

[10/07/2005 @ 2:59pm]
[ mood | Mundane ]

Have you ever had a dream that just made you feel so good, but then you have no clue why because the thing that happened in the dream: 1. would probably never happen in real life, 2. If it had happened in real life, it would have had nothing to do with you. and 3. it wouldnt have been something that would make you feel as good as it did.

its just weird when you have dreams like that.

WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE TO HAVE STUPID CURFEWS AT 11!
it limits me! and i dont like it! ok, when everyone gets thier license they must push for either curfew at 2am or ATLEAST 12! i just really wanna go out and stay out wicked late tonight but i cant, i cant even hang out with anyone because they are all WORKING!!!! however bobby is NOT working, and i can easily walk down to dunkin donuts!

well anyways, if your reading this then you dont have work or you are off work, so call me 781-944-5720 ill probably be at home all night!

(4 ) CMNT

[10/05/2005 @ 6:06pm]
OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM GOING TO KILL MY SELF!!!!!
LOST ISNT ON TILL 11:35 TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID FUCKING BASEBALL GAME! WHO CARES ABOUT BASEBALL!?!?! ITS JUST A GAME!!!! FUCK!
(12 ) CMNT

[10/02/2005 @ 9:59pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

Does anyone else ever feel like they cant be who they really are? like you know. if you act like you like things your friends dont like, they might not like you anymore. or something. i dunno. its not really that. but like, sometimes i just feel like im almost like not allowed to like certain types of things just because i dont act like other people who like the same things as me. and it would be awkward if i did. but i guess im just saying sometimes i feel like i cant let people know i like things. sometimes though i just worry that people will think im a poser or something. because im around people who always say things about people being posers and stuff and i dont want people to say things like that about me behind my back. i dunno, this is a weird post. i was just downloading music and i started thinking about how some of the music i like is either the exact opposite of some of my friends, but then its the exact same music as my other friends. and with one group i think they will talk about me behing my back for likeing it in the first place. and in the other group, talking about me behind my back because i dont act the way they do like when they listen to that kind of music. and i know im just being paranoid. i also dont like to say anythign because it can be really awkward, and i HATE it when things are awkward!































PS. i saw mike santo yesterday!

(12 ) CMNT

[09/26/2005 @ 6:11pm]
[ mood | Enlightened ]
[ music | Bright Eyes - Nothing gets crossed out ]

Well i am very happy that my last entry settled a few things. and im no longer all pissed off at people. i just needed to vent i think. you probably know how i am. i just go along with everything and dont say whats really bothering me until i just cant take it anymore. stupid i know but its habit.

anyways on a lighter note.
Today i got 2 100%s in Chem Com on quizzes and i got my whole homework issue settled out with Mr. Brown.
I also worked for Mr. Trites today. it was the most fun i have ever had. me ben and alex cleaned out some old ladies attic.
Seriously, how can one old lady have so much shit in her house? well anywho. i am also working for him tomorrow and possibly thursday or friday. hopefully ill work on both thursday and friday, but highly unlikely. ben says his dad is paying me 10 dollars an hour. so il finally have money to spend on me instead of giving to my dad to pay for my desk and compy. =D

and i completely screwed up some History homework last night. im trying not to worry about it but i also barely passed an algebra quiz that i already took twice! lol oh well it seems like its getting easier as we go along. Mr. K is the WORST teacher that ever lived. He knows the information, but he dosent know how to teach US the information. well atleast everyone else did better and i know its just me sucking at math now. lol.

well i feel really realaxed now.

on a note to nicole. i no longer purposly stare at you. you just happen to be in my staring zone.

you know how sometimes you are thinking and you just sortof stare off into space and you have no clue whats going on around you because your just in your head thinking. i like taht. its really comforting to just get out of the world for once. no more stress.

i think i might acctually be addicted to chocolate. it just seems like if i dont have any before lunch im just pooped.

so anyways LOST, the best show in the world, is on this wednesday obviously but in this episode i read that they will reveal Walts Captors. omg im so excited! So i must seriously be the biggest fan of lost there ever was because whenever i talk about lost to other lost fans they tell me to stop telling them my theories because it gives them a headache. even my mom! lol i dont know how i ever survived without that show and i dont know what ill do when it ends. ill buy the Box set DVDs and watch them EVERY wedsneday. and everyonece in a while when im in the middle of a really good part ill put in a part iv already seen and go , "DAMNIT ITS A RERUN AGAIN! oh well ill watch it anyways to find some new stuff." lol my god seriously thats my plan.

i gotta go do some homework so my day dosent suck tomorrow. =P

[]D [] []\/[] []D <=== Hey thats Roger! lol oh, my creepy crip stalker... he is probably reading this... creepy. he followed me to chem com once. did i mention he is really creepy. and he keeps telling me not to freak out when he tells me that he was in a rifle tournament. and my response is, why would i freak out. i shot rifles at scout camp! lol anyways now im just avoiding homework. i think i say anyways alot.

(10 ) CMNT

[09/24/2005 @ 11:37pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

ok i cant stand this anymore.
Delia, Stop being so god damn brutally honest. no one likes to be told thier everyfault. its rude and uncalled for and i just cant stand it anymore. you are not the greatest person on earth and your not the smartest either. so stop acting like you are because it only pisses people off even more. next time you decide to comment on something i have said or anyone has said, how about you think about thier feelings and wether or not its thier opinion or something they take as fact. my opinions change all the time, it dosent mean i take what i think as fact and it really pisses me off when you act like i do take it for fact. If you have nothing nice to say then dont say anything at all... or atleast dumm it down a little bit so you dont make people feel so shitty. its ok to state your opinion, just do it in a mannor that wont make people feel like the stupidest people in the world and want to just stay in thier room all day and do nothing because they are not worthy of thier friends.

But its not just delia that acts like im an idiot and im stupid. its just about everyone. sure sometimes i joke around and go along with it but that dosent make it true and it gets really annoying after a while. im so sick of people being so mean to me. it makes me feel bad when people contantly act like i have no clue whats going on. between my family constantly yelling at eachother or me and being made fun of at school i cant take it. I just want people to stop next time they feel like saying something to me that would make me sound stupid and just think about how that would make me feel. although i go along with it alot of the time its just because im not in the mood to argue about it with people. it can just be really depressing when everyone acts like your the biggest fool who ever lived. im never just normal. no one ever just treats me like they treat everyone else. im always the lower one. everyone acts like they are above me. i am so fucking tired of it. someday im just going to snap. and i dont know what ill do, honestly.

im sorry i mentioned delia specifically but she was the first one who came to mind when i started writing this entry.
but because i mentioned delia i must mention the other big contributer to this feeling.

Bobby. i realize we joke around about me being an idiot and stuff sometimes because of all the times i have heart my head and you were there but its really not true and it really pisses me off sometimes.

im only mentioning it because it wouldnt be fair if i only pointed out delia. i just cant deal with this anymore so if everyone could just lay off the mean jokes that make me feel inferior to everyone else, that'd be great.

(21 ) CMNT

[09/06/2005 @ 6:46pm]
[ mood | bored ]

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Boondock Saints
( ) The Mexican
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Garden State
( ) The Princess Bride
(x) Young Frankenstien
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Saw
( ) White noise
(x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
Total here:13

(x) 50 First Dates
( ) Jason X
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Resident Evil I
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
Total here: 16

(x) The Village
( ) Donnie Darko
(x) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) 13 Ghosts
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
( ) Thirteen going on 30
(x) I Robot
(x) Dodgeball
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came A Spider
( ) Deep impact
Total here:11

( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumb & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
(x) Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
(x) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Seven (SE7EN)
(x) Oceans Eleven
(x) Oceans Twelve
( ) Identity
Total here: 28

( ) Lone Star
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(x) Independence day
(x) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
( ) Best bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
Total here: 10

( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) X-men 1
(x) X-men 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
(x) Ray
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
Total here: 12

(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Boogeyman
(x) Hitch
( ) Back Door Sluts 9
( ) Anal Acres 1
( ) Anal Acres 2
( ) B-Cup Divas
(x) The Fifth Element
(x) Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
(x) Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
(x) Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars episode VI Return of The Jedi...
( ) Troop Beverly Hills
( ) Swimming with Sharks
(x) Air Force One
( ) For Richer or Poorer
( ) Trainspotting
( ) People under the stairs
( ) Blue Velvet
(x) Sound of music
(x) Parent Trap
( ) The Burbs
(x)The Terminator
(x) Empire Records
(x) SLC Punk
(x) Meet Joe Black
( ) Wild girls
(x) A Clockwork Orange
( ) The Order
(x) Spiderman
(x) Spiderman 2
( ) Amelie
Total here: 23

(x) Mean Girls
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
(x) The Incredibles
(x) Collateral
(x) The Fast & The Furious
(x) 2 Fast 2 Furious
(x) Sky Captain Of The World Of Tomorrow
( ) Closer
Total here: 8

(x) Titanic
(x) Saved
(x) Bowling For Columbine
(x) Farenheit 9/11
(x) The Sixth Sense
(x) Artificial intelligence (AI)
(x) Love actually
( ) Shutter
( ) Ella Enchanted
( ) Princess diaries 1
( ) Princess diaries 2
(x) Constantine
(x) Million Dollar Baby
( ) Envy
(x) Eurotrip
(x) Malibu's Most wanted
(x) Big Daddy
( ) Black Sheep
(x) The Breakfast Club
(x) West side story
Total here: 14

(x) A Christmas Story
( ) Spanglish
(x) Pulp Fiction
( ) Sleepover
( ) The Evil Dead
( ) Killer Klowns From Outer Space*
(x) The Seed of chucky
(x) Vanilla Sky
(x) Nightmare Before Christmas
(x) Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
(x) Interview With The Vampire
(x) The Crow
( ) Purple Rain
(x) Reservoir Dogs
(x) Wayne's World
Total here: 10

(x) Wayne's World 2
( ) 21 Grams
(x) Blow
(x) Edward Scissorhands
(x) Clerks
(x) Beauty and the Beast
(x) Guess who
( ) Monster In-Law
(x) Elf
(x) Stuart Little
(x) Stuart Little 2
(x) Mall Rats
( ) Chasing Amy
(x) Dogma
(x) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Total here: 12

(x) Beetlejuice
(x) The Last Samurai
(x) The Amityville Horror (old or new)
(x) The Aviator
(x) Romeo and Juliet
( ) Barbershop
( ) Beauty Shop
(x) Legally Blonde
(x) Legally Blonde 2
(x) The Forgotten
( ) Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen
(x) Grudge
Total here: 9

My Total...166!

That means I'v seen a crapload more movies than kait has therefore making me the super movie whore!

(3 ) CMNT

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